


Kiss it and Make it Better

by dancing_homestuck



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Drugs, Fluff, M/M, Marijuana, Ray is high and Ryan's a sweetie, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:39:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8297977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancing_homestuck/pseuds/dancing_homestuck
Summary: Everyone gets owies and boo boos in their line of work. Most of the time, bandages and stitches are all that's needed. Sometimes, it takes just a little bit more.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a present for all 420 of my followers on [tumblr](http://socoolraywoodbloghere.tumblr.com)! Thank you so much, you all truly make my day <3

Ray has made some wonderful choices in his life. Doing BMX stunts while exceptionally high was not one of the wonderful ones. It was, in fact, a very poor choice. To be fair, it’s not his fault if he’s easily distracted while high, and it sure as hell isn’t his fault that a bird flew overhead. Mother Nature shit just happens like that, you know? While Ray was staring off at the majestic pigeon, however, he was not paying attention to the rail he had been planning on grinding – not that he could actually do that sober, mind you – and kind of ate shit real bad. 

So what’s a poor, injured, and very blazed guy supposed to do except wander his way home? He might have forgotten his bike? Hah, sounds like Mike. What if someone’s name was micycle? Besides, he was more concentrated on watching the blood bead out of his scraped up hands. It was so weird, like tiny little round rubies, glistening in the late night street lights.

He was pretty sure he was going towards the penthouse. He wasn’t, like, positive or anything, but the buildings around him were pretty tall. That was probably a good sign. He stopped at a street corner and stared dazedly at a neon sign across the street. It said a thing in cursive and it was purple, but it was also flickering on and off. Something about it just seemed so inherently amusing, and Ray chuckled giddily to himself, leaning against a street lamp as he watched it. On. And off. On. And off. 

He was kind of dazed and didn’t know how long he looked at the sign, but it just like, never got old. Sometimes it would flicker really fast and that was just such a fucking blast. He hardly even noticed when a really nice, sleek black car pulled up to the curb. He did notice when the driver got out, wearing a black skull mask. 

Oh shit, Ray thought, fucking skeleton war is here. Clearly it was time for the corpses to rise and fight each other to the… wait, they were already dead. So then they fight to the not death? A fight to life? Does that mean they’d actually want to lose? Shit. There are a lot more layers to this than he thought. Also, damn, Skeletor is built. Also familiar. Ray works with dead people a lot, right? Maybe he knows this guy. He should get his attention. 

“Spooky scary skeletons,” Ray sang, giggling. That’s definitely how you get their attention. That song’s got to be like, their battle cry or mating song or something, right? Wait, what comes after the first line? Whatever, he’ll just mumble along to the right sounds. 

The buff skeleton glared at him, but his eyes quickly changed from angry to surprised. Ray swore that he knew those eyes, but just continued singing the song, because clearly it was working.  
“Ray?” Oh, hey, Bones said something. Was it his name? Does he actually know him? His eyes… His voice… His jacket… 

“Oh, shit, hey Rye.” Fuck, it’s Ryan. That guy’s always dressing up like it’s Halloween. Cool guy though. Pretty hot. Also, very dad; just look at those jeans. Also, he does this cool thing with a machete where he just like, takes a guy’s entire head off. Really neat stuff. “Whatcha doing?”

“Geoff needed me to pick up some stuff from the store…” Store? What store? Ray looked around and suddenly noticed the bright, lit up convenience store behind him. Wow. This is almost as good as the sign. “Are… you okay?” 

Ray looked down at himself. Was he okay? Probably? He looked at his hands and remembered the little rubies. “Look, Rye! I’m rich!” These things will definitely sell. Can he buy chips with them? He should get chips. He was really hungry all of a sudden. 

Ryan came over to him, taking off his mask and stuffing it in his back pocket. He was still doing that new make-up look he was trying out with the more realistic skull face. Ray should get him to teach him how to contour. Ryan took Ray’s hands in his own and Ray hummed at the contact. Ryan’s hands were rough and callused and for some reason that texture felt really nice right now. Ray should be touching more things. 

“Ray, are you high?” Ryan accused. Ray rolled his eyes and giggled.

“Nah,” He said, trying to copy Ryan’s trademark ‘nah’ as best he could.

Ryan gave him an incredulous look and Ray’s pretty sure he doesn’t believe him. Rude. Ray’s like, solidly on the ground. Ryan’s the one who’s still in the air. That makes Ryan the high one here. Clearly.

“Just…” Ryan sighed and looked at the store, “Just stay right here, okay? I’ll be out in like five minutes and then I can drive you home. That sound okay?” 

Ray studied him for a moment, trying to decide if he’d agree. He hadn’t been planning on going anywhere, right? Might as well. But he’s not going to make it that easy, he has some conditions.

“Redbull and Pringles.” Ray said definitively.

“What?” Ryan asked.

“Redbull and Pringles.” Ray repeated.

Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Fooooooood.” Ray whined. He was starving, dying!

“Alright, alright, I’ll get you food.” Ryan said.

“Whoohoo!” Ray cheered. Best. Day. Ever! “You’re my favorite Ryan, Ryan, you know that?”

Ryan chuckled and ruffled Ray’s hair which made Ray laugh. Ryan did that little half jog thing and went into the store and Ray watched him go. Even in dad jeans he still had a nice ass. 

Was there something that Ray wanted to do? Oh! He wanted to touch stuff. The lamp post behind him was smooth and cool to the touch, sending shivers down his spine. It was mostly flat but there were a couple of bumps and indents that Ray toyed with.

Moving his hand made his thumb rub against his hoodie sleeve and he left off the lamp to tug at it. The cuff was a little rough with tiny ridges and indents, and he rubbed it against his face, laughing at how it felt against the scruff on his chin. While one arm stayed by his face, the other trailed down the smoother material of his sleeve. The fabric was uninterrupted and it was weird how he could feel his fingers on his arm but like, the sleeve was in the way so he wasn’t actually touching his arm but at the same time he was? He didn’t know, it just felt kind of funny and sent tingles down his arm. 

He paused when he got to his elbow, feeling something different. He looked to find his sleeve tattered and shredded, his skin poking out. No! His hoodie! It’s all broken! But he loves this hoodie! He does stuff in it like all the time! But he can’t anymore.

It’s dead.

Ray mourned his hoodie in a moment of silence for his best buddy, thinking of all the good times they’d had. Some of the times he’s thinking of may very well be fake. After his moment of silence he pouted and shoved his hands in his pockets. In them his hands ran over a few objects and he pulled them out. An empty plastic bag, very thin and small pieces of paper, and a lighter. He looked at the lighter for a moment, flicking it on with practiced ease, and smiled at the flame. 

Suddenly, he got an idea, and smiled wider, pleased with himself. 

About some increment of time later Ray felt someone come up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. Ray tipped his head back and looked up at Ryan, who looked funny all upside-down. “Oh, hey Rye.” He kind of forgot that Ryan was here at all. Where had he gone? Just up and disappeared or something. 

“Hi, Ray,” Ryan said back. He sounded kind of tired, but he usually sounded kind of tired, “Hey, Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“Where did your hoodie go?”

“Viking funeral.”

“Viking funeral?”

Ray pointed at the fire in the trashcan he’d been watching, “Viking funeral.”

“Ah.”

“Fucking rest in pepperoni, my sweet, sweet prince.” It was a sad and solemn moment.

“Got you Pringles,” Ryan said, pulling the chip filled cylinder out of a plastic bag and holding it out in front of Ray. 

Ray looked at the gift from heaven before him with utmost awe before snatching it up and ripping it open. He struggled with the seal for a minute before finally getting his prize, taking a few chips from the top and stuffing them in his mouth. They crunched satisfyingly and tasted just like food, making Ray hum in appreciation. 

A heavy weight dropped down onto Ray’s shoulders. Ray blinked in confusion before looking at his shoulders and finding Ryan’s black and blue leather jacket. He knew that the outside would feel cool to the touch, but the inside was warm and cozy, comforting Ray from a chill he hadn’t noticed until just that moment. 

“Come on, Ray,” Ryan said, gathering up the plastic bags in one hand and herding Ray toward his car with the other, “Let’s get you home before any more of your clothes go up in flames.” 

Ray let himself be lead, much more interested in devouring the chips in front of him. Ryan opened the passenger door making Ray snicker at the Vagabond being such a gentleman as he slid into his seat. 

He put his feet up on the dash and tipped the Pringles can back, making chips crash into his face. He lowered the can and pouted as he heard Ryan chuckle at him. Ryan stashed the groceries in the back seat and got into the driver’s side, pushing Ray’s feet off the dash before pulling out of his parking spot. 

Ray tried to put his feet up again but Ryan pushed them off again. He made a low whining noise, but didn’t try anymore. As he sat he noticed that his glasses had half-fallen off of his face so that the world was cut in half; blurry images on top, a thick black line, and clear images on the bottom. He chuckled at the images, shifting his glasses up and down to change how much was clear and how much was blur.

“What are you laughing at there, Ray?” Ryan asked as he calmly zipped through a red light.

“Glasses,” Ray mumbled, watching blurred lights and clear mailboxes pass by them.

“Molasses?” Ryan asked. 

Ray burst out laughing, which made Ryan chuckle as well, “What? What did I say?”

“M-molasses glasses,” Ray struggled out between laughs. He laughed so hard he doubled over in his seat because for some reason that was the funniest thing Ray had heard literally ever. It made no sense but it rhymed and that was fucking hysterical.

It was so funny it had Ray laughing for who knows how long before he finally settled into his seat again. 

“Hey, Ray,” Ryan said, getting Ray’s attention.

“Yeah?” Ray asked, dipping a hand back in the Pringles can.

“Glasses molasses.”

Just like that Ray was bending over himself laughing again. Ryan kept him laughing until they got to the penthouse. Ryan turned off the engine as Ray finally finished his giggling fit. Ray tried to swipe a tear from his eye but his hand was stuck halfway in the Pringles can, so he ended up just kind of lightly smacking himself in the face. He tried to pull the can off of his hand, but it wouldn’t give and he became frustrated with it quickly. 

Ryan chuckled, getting out of the driver’s seat and unloading the groceries from the back seat. He went around and opened Ray’s door, Ray continuing to tug at the cylinder. “Here, let me help,” he said, setting down the bags and kneeling, holding a hand out expectantly. Ray huffed in frustration and pouted, finally plopping his arm into Ryan’s hand.

Ryan tugged on it for a second before looking back at Ray, “Hey, Ray?”

“Yeah, Ryan?”

“Can you open your hand?” Ray did so, waving at Ryan with his hand. Ryan rolled his eyes, “No, your other hand.”

Ray blinked in confusion before realizing Ryan meant the one in the Pringles. Was it closed in a fist? Huh. How’d that happen? Ray relaxed his hand and the tube nearly fell right off, Ryan just barely catching it before the few remaining chips could spill everywhere.

“Fucking Spider-Man,” Ray commented, in awe at Ryan’s ability to not let things fall on the ground. Not all heroes wear capes. 

Ryan rolled his eyes and chuckled. He helped Ray get out of the car, then lead him to the elevator. As they ascended to the top floor and listened to the most generic elevator music to ever be conceived Ray made grabby hands at the Pringle’s can still in Ryan’s possession. 

Ryan looked at him skeptically and held the can away a bit, which made Ray lean over farther and begin to make whining noises. “I’m not giving it back, Ray,” Ryan said, holding the can even farther away. 

“C’mon Rye, why not?” Ray whined, getting on his toes and using Ryan for balance, but the guy’s fucking six feet tall and just held the can even higher.

“If I do, you’ll just get your hand stuck in it again.”

“No I won’t!”

“Yes, you will. Now stop climbing on me!”

“But I want it!” Ray complained, continuing to climb on Ryan.

==========================================================================================

Ryan was really glad that the others were home because that means the door was unlocked (The idea that they’re supposedly “High Class Criminals” with incredible security measures is sometimes hysterical to Ryan.) and it’d be a real pain in the ass to get his keys out and mess with the lock right now. 

Geoff was in the kitchen, pouring himself a drink, Michael was playing Halo in the living room, Gavin was sitting on the couch, going between heckling Michael and scrolling through some feed on his phone, and Jack and Jeremy were nowhere in sight.

“Hey, Ryan, You get the-” Geoff began, but cut himself off when he looked up from his drink, “-Uh, Ryan? Why is Ray slung over your shoulder?” 

Ryan sighed. “Yeah, I got the things you asked for,” He said, putting the bags on the counter, “Ray just so happened to be hanging around outside the store. He’s high right now.” Ryan turned a bit so Geoff could see the rest of Ray. Ray waved the hand stuck in the Pringles can at Geoff.

“Ah,” Geoff said. He began unpacking the groceries he’d missed on his run to the store earlier that week.

“Is Jack around?” Ryan asked, readjusting Ray as he slipped a bit.

“No, she said something about a ‘Girl’s Night Out’ with Meg, Mica, and Lindsay I think.” 

Ryan sighed. “Alright then, Ray. I’ll get you cleaned up.” Normally Ray’s a big boy who can take care of himself, but he’s pretty fucking high right now.

“Whoohoo,” Ray cheered before giggling. He could feel all the blood going to his head and it made him all heavy. That, and when Ryan carried him like this, he could watch Ryan’s ass while he walked. It was a good ass. The best donkey in the land. 

Ryan walked them through the penthouse to the bathroom. Suddenly, Ray felt himself slip further down Ryan’s back. “Uh-oh,” Ryan said in mock concern, changing his hold from Ray’s waist to the back of his knees, “You’re too- heavy- I’m gonna- drop you!” 

“No!” Ray laughed as the ground got closer, hanging just above Ryan’s ankles. 

“Oh no! There you go!” Ray laughed out a scream as he was unceremoniously, yet gently, dumped on the ground. 

Ray laughed in his little lump, laughing even harder when Ryan stooped down to pick him up again, this time nearly bridal style. Ryan set him down on the bathroom counter and Ray leaned his head against Ryan’s shoulder until he could finally calm down and stop laughing. 

Ryan ruffled his hair, then opened up a cabinet next to Ray’s head and pulled out one of their many med kits. It was big with a translucent white top and an alarmingly red solid bottom that instantly made Ray’s brows scrunch up.

He grabbed Ryan’s face, though the hand stuck in the Pringles can rolled off his cheek. Ray looked him over but couldn’t see anything wrong with Ryan’s face. “Are you hurt?” Ray asked worriedly.

Ryan raised a brow, “No?” he said. Ryan reached up and took Ray’s hand off his face, turning it so that Ray could see it, “You are?” Sure enough, Ray’s hand was all scraped up and had dried blood sticking to it. Ray blinked at it, wondering when that happened. Didn’t he have rubies there before? How stoned is he right now? 

“Oh,” Ray said. So Ryan’s not hurt? Ray smiled, pleased as punch, “Okay!”

Ryan looked at him curiously before chuckling, “Okay then. Can I see your hand?” 

Ray giggled and waved the hand Ryan still held lightly, “I don’t know, can you?” 

Ryan rolled his eyes and snorted a laugh, “No, dumbass, I meant the one in the can of chips.” 

Ray blinked and looked at his other hand. Huh, when did that happen? He plopped the canned hand into Ryan’s awaiting one. “My ass is the smartest ass I know,” he argued. 

“Mhm,” Ryan hummed, slowly working the can off of Ray’s hand, “Never would have guessed it. What’s two plus two?” 

Ray didn’t understand why Ryan was asking him for this calculus shit. You’ve got to be a fucking rocket scientist for this crap. Ray tried his best, though, “Ballerina.”

“What?” Ryan laughed, needing only one more tug to free Ray’s hand. Ray opened and closed his now greasy and chip covered hand, amazed at his newfound freedom. 

“Ballerina,” Ray answered again, “You know, like the things,” Ray motioned patting at his waist and Ryan looked at him like he was crazy.

“You know,” Ray said, “The double two.”

Ryan looked at him funny again until laughing lightly when he seemed to figure it out, “The tutu?”

Ray nodded and looked at his hand again. He moved to lick off the chip residue, but Ryan stopped him by catching his wrist, which made Ray whine. “Not exactly what I was going for,” Ryan said, releasing Ray’s clean hand to grab and wet a washcloth, “But I guess it works?” 

Ray watched as Ryan cleaned off his chip hand gently. Ryan was always so nice to him, always helping him out with shit. “What works?” Ray asked, having lost the conversation.  
“Ray, how high are you right now?” Ryan asked.

Ray laughed as Ryan put the cloth down and went into the kit to grab a wipe, “No, Ryan, it’s ‘Hi, how are you?’” 

Ryan shook his head, but he had a small smile on, so Ray counted it as a win. Ryan wiped off all of the scrapes and cuts on Ray’s hands and knees as well as one on his cheek that he hadn’t noticed. Ryan put some Neosporin on them all and covered the ones on Ray’s knees with large bandaids. He let Ray choose the one he wanted on his cheek – Hello Kitty just barely beat out Ariel – and just like that Ray was all patched up. 

“There you go, buddy,” Ryan patted Ray’s leg and started packing up the kit. Ray sat there, brow pinched. There was something missing there, something needed to happen here. 

“Wait!” Ray said suddenly, realizing what he needed, “You forgot something!”

Ryan raised his eyebrow and looked at the kit and then at Ray, “Uh, what’d I miss?”

“You have to kiss it!” Ray said brightly poking at the bandage on his cheek.

Ryan froze, his face burning red at his cheeks. Ryan was stalk still for a solid ten seconds before he shook himself lightly and went back to closing the kit. “I think you’re good, Ray. The Neosporin should do more than… that does.” Ray almost laughed at how Ryan couldn’t even say the word ‘kiss’ until he realized what Ryan had actually said.

“No,” Ray whined, “You have to, Rye. I’ll die if you don’t!” Instantaneously and immediately with so much pain. It was guaranteed. 

Ryan cruelly puffed a laugh and ruffled Ray’s hair, “I’m pretty sure you’ll live, Ray.”

Ray pouted and looked at Ryan with pleading eyes, “Ryan, you have to!” Ray whined again, tugging at Ryan’s sleeve as Ryan dutifully put the box back in the cupboard.

“Why do I have to, Ray?” Ryan asked, his face now only lightly dusted pink.

“Because I’ll die if you don’t,” Ray replied, distressed, “Mama said people kiss boo-boos to give them magic and magic heals people and keeps monsters away! The monsters will eat me, Ryan!”  
Ryan drew back from the cabinet looking like he was going to laugh Ray off again until he noticed that Ray looked like he was actually close to tears. “Whoa, hey kid, slow down there. Nothing’s going to get you.”

“Yes it is!” Ray argued in complete dismay, “It’ll eat me and then I’ll be dead and Gavin will puke at my body and I’ll never have Jack’s cookies and I’ll have to haunt the penthouse forever and- and- and-” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Ryan shushed him worriedly, holding onto his shoulders, “Nothing will get you, I promise.” Ray wasn’t consoled, and all he could think about were the things he won’t be able to do because he’ll be dead and eaten. “Okay, okay, look, I’ll do it.”

Ray gasped softly and looked at Ryan with hope, “You’ll kiss it and make it better?”

Ryan gulped and smiled uneasily, “Yeah, I’ll… do that.” Ray beamed up at Ryan, pleased with this result. 

Ryan rolled his eyes at the smile, but his face started turning red again. He bent down and quickly pecked Ray’s knees right where the bandages were. He carefully took Ray’s hands in his own and pressed gentle kisses to each palm, making a little tingling sensation float up to Ray’s head. Ray laughed at the feeling and was tempted to tell Ryan he had to kiss him more. Ryan straightened up properly and bit his lip, hesitating. Finally he just huffed and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Ray’s cheek so gently Ray’s entire inside was butterflies. 

Ryan drew back, a bright red blush spread from ear to ear. Ray smiled lazily up at him and slung his arms around Ryan’s neck. “My hero!” He praised into Ryan’s chest. Ryan huffed a short laugh, looking down at Ray. 

When Ray didn’t let go, Ryan raised an eyebrow, “Going to get up and go to bed anytime soon?” 

Ray whined, pushing his face further into Ryan’s warm chest. Suddenly he was completely tired and Ryan was so warm and safe, Ray didn’t want to leave.

“That’s what I thought,” Ryan said. He wrapped his arms around Ray, returning the hug for a moment. Then one of his hands dug under Ray’s butt and hoisted him up, carrying him. 

Ray approved of this change very much, doing his best to hook his legs around Ryan’s back and adjusting his arm hold. Ryan could always pick him up like he weighed nothing. It helped that Ray  
practically did weigh nothing, but it always seemed cool to him that Ryan was just that ripped. Fucking shredded. Guy probably has a fucking eight pack.

Before Ray knew it he was lowered down to something soft and familiar. His legs slipped off of Ryan’s back and arms off his neck. Ray blinked and slowly recognized that he was in his room, on his bed. 

Ryan slipped the glasses off of Ray’s face and tugged his shoes off, placing them on the nightstand and the floor respectively. 

“Go on to sleep, Ray,” Ryan said above him, moving warm, heavy feeling covers onto Ray. Ray sunk into the warmth and the neat new textures. It was then that Ray remembered he was still wearing Ryan’s jacket. 

“Rye,” he mumbled, feeling so sleepy, “Your jacket.”

Ryan froze, as if also only now noticing it. Ray couldn’t really make out his face, but he thinks it might have gone all red again. It was a good color for Ryan. 

“Uh, you can just keep it. Until the morning. Don’t worry about it,” Ryan said. Before Ray could object, Ryan scuttled out of the room and over to the door way. 

Ray thought about insisting, but a thick sense of tired fell over him, and the smell of Ryan’s coat kept him placated. “Okay,” he said, feeling drowsiness take him, “Heart you, Rye.”

Ryan seemed to once again freeze, but Ray’s eyes were closed now and he couldn’t see anything. Just before Ray was completely swallowed by sleep, he heard Ryan softly from the doorway, “I heart you too, Ray.”

Something warm happened in Ray’s chest and he sighed, pleased, finally falling asleep with a tiny smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I"m going to leave this as a stand alone for now, but I hope to make it into a 3-part work, so look forward to that!
> 
> If you liked it, please kudos and comment! If you want more, come on over to my blog, [socoolraywoodbloghere](http://socoolraywoodbloghere.tumblr.com)!


End file.
